TeaBagger Debate: Rerun Or Just Repetitive?

Read Our Lips! No New Ideas!

TAMPA – Well, just like last month in Iowa, and last week in California, the Banana Republicans gathered here today to debate the same tired old ideas they have been espousing for years. Although TEXECUTIONER, Rick PERIGEE (the lowest point), only joined the fray for the second and third debates, it was still nearly impossible to tell if this was just another rerun or a new debate.

Essentially, except for the preplanned sound bytes each had prepared, it eventually devolved into a race to the bottom. The Banana Republicans were all trying to out-crazy, out-taxcut and out-racebait one another. When any one of them made a marginally sane statement about any subject, the audience booed and the rest of the panel pounced. Michele BOTCHMANN thinks vaccinations are the work of the devil. She also thinks children of undocumented workers should not receive education, but rather, should be hanged, drawn and quartered for the sin of staying with their parents. NEWTIE admitted that he thinks President Obama is scary. TEXECUTIONER PERIGEE is offended that people think he can be bought by a five thousand dollar campaign contribution; he assured TeaBaggers that his price is much, much higher. Mitt WRONGNEY flip-flopped on healthcare twice in one paragraph! WRONG Paul thinks The Constitution is unconstitutional. Rick “FROTHY” SANTORUM swears he was in the room (though, no evidence for this claim was offered). There were a couple other forgettable debaters who expressed their positions in more of a grumbling “me too” fashion. Signficantly, all of the candidates were so blinded by their rage over the enactment of the healthcare reform bill last year that they collectively advocated emergency rooms turning away uninsured patients to die in the street!

Regardless of their individual prejudices, irrational fears, pet peeves, and idiotic notions about math and science, they were all able to agree on one thing: they would spend the entire debate in the gutter. They did not offer one new idea, not one hopeful image, not one interesting anecdote to inspire people about the future. The message was clear, “We’re angry, damn it! Umm… That is all.” Perhaps this is what the credulous dupes who make up the TeaBagger party, a wholly owned astroturf subsidiary of Koch Industries, want. However, being angry is not the same as leadership. Being angry does not create jobs. Being angry does not provide healthcare. And, being angry does not pay for Social Security or Medicare! But, hey, when your party is intellectually bankrupt, at the very least, being angry makes for some marketable sound bytes.

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