High Function: Functioning Highly

SAN FRANCISCO – Now that The King of Mars, The Ultimate Twit, Elon The Mollusk has acquired a majority stake in Twitter, although he promised it would not become a “Free-for-All Hellscape,” he himself has turned Twitter into a “Free-for-All Hellscape.” After drinking deeply of the Favor-Aid (the actual cyanide laced beverage-of-choice at Jonestown) in the Q-ANUS trash can, King Twit posted an outrageous lie about the hammer attack on Congressperson Nancy Pelosi’s husband, Paul. Trying to do anything other than admit it was a politically motivated assassination attempt against The Speaker of The House, he posted a message indicating that the assailant and Mr. Pelosi met at a gay bar earlier in the evening. This homophobic story was intended to distract from the very real climate of violence Right-Wing Nutjobs have fomented around Democratic politicians. “Free-for-All Hellscape” indeed! All by himself!

Hours later, King Twit deleted the Tweet without comment. Too little, too late! Since this, along with a shocking increase in the use of racial epithets, is what we are going to see on the platform going forward, the only solution is to abandon the service. This will cause pain for those who have come to rely on it for news, information, entertainment and to keep up with friends. But we MUST stop using it. The founder of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, is developing a new federated communication network, Bluesky Social, whose intent is to provide a platform that can not be hijacked for Mollusk-like purposes. The minute it becomes available, we need to switch.

Mark Twain is often purported to have said, “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” Whether or not that is actually his quote, the sense of it is compelling. And with platforms like Twitter, the lie can travel even further, even faster. We deserve better, so we must do better!

Update: There is a Germany-based alternative: mastodon.