Laughably Demented Impeachment Defense

Schoen his ignorance!

WASHINGTON – As the Second Impeachment Trial of Former TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS and perpetual LOSER, Donald T. RUMP began today, the contrast between the capability of the House Managers and the bumbling incompetence of the only two credulous morons still stupid enough to believe Former Orange Twitler would pay them became very clear. The comparison between the concrete evidence presented by the House Managers and the insubstantial nonsense spouted by the bumblers was also quite stark.

Representative Jamie Raskin (D-Md.) led the House Managers in their compelling presentation of video evidence and lucid legal arguments in favor of trying the OBOE (Orange Bag of Excrement) for inciting a violent, racist, ignorant, seditious mob to storm the Capitol, murder a Police Officer, injure some ten-dozen others, and physically desecrate the building. Using moving rhetoric such as, “People died that day. Officers ended up with head damage and brain damage. People‚Äôs eyes were gouged. An officer had a heart attack. An officer lost three fingers that day. Two officers have taken their own lives,” Raskin held the chamber spellbound by his argument.

Then it was the FORMER OAF OF OFFICE’s turn. Two “attorneys” who had to have been scraped from the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, Bruce Castor and David Schoen, tried mightily to speak in coherent sentences. Castor made a rambling, self-contradictory argument that actually included an admission that tRUMP had lost the election. After embracing every one of the Q-ANUS conspiracy theories, he actually argued that the House impeachment process was too fast, which negated the opportunity for due process, and too slow so that tRUMP was out of office before the trial began. Next came Schoen who spent over an hour screaming at the top of his lungs about random things that had absolutely nothing to do with what the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS did on January 6.

Now, since the only purpose of today’s hearing was to determine whether or not the Senate would proceed with the trial, the final vote was 56 in favor and 44 in complete denial of reality.

Tomorrow, we will begin the actual presentation of evidence, interspersed with hours of sheer incompetence. It should make for some very entertaining television!

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