Juice On Ice

I think I need ANOTHER do-over, your honor. This time I'll use a knife instead of a gun

LAS VEGAS – Completely self-absorbed sociopath, Orenthal James Simpson, was sentenced to a minimum of nine and a maximum of thirty-three years in jail today (ha ha!). He was convicted in October of kidnapping and armed robbery. The most laughable moment of the entire spectacle was an arrogant, rambling, narcissistic, semi-literate monologue in which the double murderer simultaneously endeavored to rationalize his unlawful actions and deny any wrongdoing (it was quite pathetic).

The upshot is that in Brentwood, brutally butchering two innocent people is not sufficient to get you any punishment whatsoever, but attempting to recover a moldy old football jersey in Nevada is enough to put you away for a long, long time. What’s stolen in Vegas stays in Vegas.

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