What Ails You

Name Your Poison...

LOS ANGELES – Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, muscle ache, neck ache, delayed back ache, confusion, insomnia, drowsiness, diarrhea, constipation, tremor, swelling of the ankles, feet, and legs, light-headedness, flushing, somnolence, chills, cold sweat, headache, increased pulse, flushed face and neck, restlessness, skin rash, sensitivity to the sun, weakness, dry mouth, increased urination, vertigo, dyspepsia, blurred vision, ringing in the ears, anorexia or increased appetite (make up your mind!), increased libido, impotence.

Erections lasting more than four hours (no time for a physician, better find a call girl!).

Tell your doctor if you are using: MAOIs, SSRIs, blood pressure medication, or other toxic cocktails.

Everyone and her brother can have increased gambling, sexual, or other intense urges (are these the side effects, or the intended effects?).

But recently, the pill pushers have come up with a brand new one: suicidal thoughts or actions! What the hell has to be wrong with you that you would actually risk induced suicidal thoughts let alone suicidal actions to treat it?

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