Five long days can really age a BUMPKIN

WASHINGTON – Looking like absolute hell in between his twit-storms, temper tantrums, self-aggrandizement and lying, The ORANGE VOLCANO OF HATESPEECH did EXACTLY what Banana Republicans told him to do: signing shit to destroy the planet (Keystone XXL and DAPL pipelines), discriminate against women (abortion gag rule), order the destruction of government property (suspension of grants and contracts) and begin an administration-wide cover-up (gag order). So, for today, Putin took his hand out of the ORANGE PUPPET’s ass and LYIN’ RYAN put his hand right in. No wonder The LITTLE DICK-TATOR looks so haggard. A puppet cannot serve two masters. This will not end well, but judging by the looks of things, it may end soon…

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