IQ, folks, sad!

NEW YORK – After hearing from US Intelligence Agencies regarding PuppetMaster Putin’s hacking of the DNC, “ORANGE GENIUS,” Donald T. RUMP, explained that Russians were better at komputers and that the nation should just accept that they will be meddling in our affairs from now on. He also pointed out that only “overrated” Democrats were hacked while strong RNC komputers were not hacked. This is simply not true. What actually happened is that both sides were hacked. Both sides leaked vital information to the Russians. But, Putin, being a PuppetMaster played the game skillfully. While he leaked the DNC information to the press because there was nothing he could do other than embarrass the party, he kept the RNC data close to his vest. The reason is that he knows all of ADOLF TWITLER’s dirty little secrets (he’s broke, he is being strangled by debt, he engaged in lewd acts, etc.) and he has been blackmailing the PUMPKIN BUMPKIN ever since. Considering money grubbing T. RUMP can’t even throw a New Year’s Eve party without charging people $500, the number of other humiliating faux pas THE FIFTH AVENUE HILLBILLIES have been covering up must represent a treasure trove of actionable information. Once again, the MANGO MUSSOLINI was played like a violin.

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