High Function: Functioning Highly

MAR-A-LARDO – Things are hotting up down here as details of the thirty-four count indictment against the OBOE (Orange Bag Of Excrement) emerge. Stormy Daniels said, “Thank you.” Exonerated Central Park Five member Yusef Salaam called it “Karma.” Delusional FUCKER Carlson advised FAUX NEWS viewers it was, “probably not the best time to give up your AR-15.” And Rachel Maddow predicted that this whole exercise will actually likely be quite boring. But none of that compares to the incomparable work of the “Very Stable Genius” itself. On its sad little text messaging platform with the forgettable name the OBOE announced that it had been “INDICATED!” Here’s the quote:

“These Thugs and Radical Left Monsters have just INDICATED the 45th President of the United States of America, THIS IS AN ATTACK ON OUR COUNTRY THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE. IT IS LIKEWISE A CONTINUING ATTACK ON OUR ONCE FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS. THE USA IS NOW A THIRD WORLD NATION, A NATION IN SERIOUS DECLINE. SO SAD!”

Now, setting its pathetic functional illiteracy aside for the nonce remember, the crime for which it is being “INDICATED” has nothing to do with paying hush money to cover up an affair. The crime for which it is being “INDICATED” is trying to cheat on its taxes by falsely claiming that the hush money was a business expense for legal services related to its campaign. Nobody cared about the dalliance which was a personal matter. But the OBOE simply could not leave it alone. While the Banana Republicans are screaming about the weaponization of the Justice System, remember that until the OBOE tied it to the campaign, there was no possibility of weaponizing anything. It is the OBOE’s own fault that it has been “INDICATED.”

WASHINGTON – The OBOE (Orange Bag Of Excrement) has been INDICTED in The State of New York for paying hush-money to Adult Film Actress Stormy Daniels. The charges relate to illegally declaring the bribe as legal fees. So, think about it, even when covering up an affair, he just HAD to lie about the payment to cheat the country out of its taxes. That is what passes for lovin’ ‘Murrica these days.

Oh and, Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WASHINGTON – At The State Of The Union Address, one hyper-intellectual speaks her mind.