High Function: Functioning Highly

WASHINGTON – Although the Enormous Orange Bag of Excrement (OBOE) continues to stamp its little feet and shake its laughably diminutive fists, the Administrator of the General Services Administration, Emily Murphy, has finally acknowledged reality, ascertained that Biden has won, and released the funds necessary to facilitate the transition from the unlawful regime of the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS to President Elect, Joe Biden. Now that the vote in Michigan has been certified by the State Board of Canvassers, regardless of what happens in any remaining pathetic, idiotic lawsuits, the outcome is certain: The OAF OF OFFICE LOST THE ELECTION. To reiterate: The OAF OF OFFICE LOST THE ELECTION. Tough shit. The long national nightmare is almost over – it will continue until noon EST on January 20, 2021.

Again, it is with great enthusiasm that we say, ADIOS, MOTHERFUCKER!

WASHINGTON – Finally! Due to the insane machinations of TWWENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS’ deranged attorney, Rudolph GHOULIANI, any candidate is free to disregard ALL votes cast for the candidate’s opponent. Since that is now the case, NONE of TWITLER’s votes count!

Biden now wins: 79,000,000 to 0!

Democracy is awesome!

WASHINGTON – Ten Weeks from today (that’s seventy days), the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS will no longer be occupying the White House. We can only hope that it is also summarily arrested for crimes committed and marched off to prison. This has been a difficult four years. And, regardless of how much turmoil, confusion, deception and falsehood, it attempts to sow, it will be leaving. It can refuse to concede. It can hide in its bunker. It can hold super-spreader rallies all over the nation. It can sue all the imaginary foes it wishes. But, it CANNOT and SHALL NOT ignore the will of the people!

Again, ADIOS, MOTHERFUCKER!

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Finally! We have Number Forty-Six! This is the end of an era, and the beginning of a New Age!

Just to prove the point, here is what THE WINNER said: “America, I’m honored that you have chosen me to lead our great country. The work ahead of us will be hard, but I promise you this: I will be a President for all Americans — whether you voted for me or not. I will keep the faith that you have placed in me.”

And here is what IMPOTUS, The OAF OF OFFICE, THE LOSER said: “Beginning Monday, our campaign will start prosecuting our case in court to ensure election laws are fully upheld and the rightful winner is seated.”

So, The OBOE (Orange Bag of Excrement), it is all over but the suing. Well, Adios, Motherfucker!

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Count. Every. Vote.

UNITES STATES OF AMERICA –
Shit, god damn, get off your ass and jam!
Shit, god damn, get off your ass and jam!
Shit, god damn, get off your ass and jam!

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Beware! Individuals displaying this flag, are going to be standing outside your polling place. They do not have any authority to harass you, question you, physically challenge you or do anything to suppress your right to vote, and they categorically MAY NOT cause you any physical harm. If you are registered to vote, you MUST vote. Please be advised, they are scared little boys with serious psychological and emotional issues. They are invariably INCELS. They harbor a great deal of rage. They wave guns around to compensate for the humiliating dysfunction and diminutive size of their genitalia. They used to hide their racial hatred and bigotry; but ever since the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS stole the last election, they have declared their animosity loudly and proudly. They represent the worst of this nation. However, this is their last gasp. After tomorrow, they will have to slink back to the shadows and console one another with imaginings of what could have been. The ONLY way they win is if you allow them to intimidate you. Don’t. Instead, exercise your franchise! VOTE!