High Function: Functioning Highly

CLEVELAND – At something billed as a “Presidential Debate” here tonight, an OBOE (Orange Bag Of Excrement) lied, threw temper tantrums, interrupted and rambled incoherently as one portion of the evening’s proceedings. Opposing the OAF OF OFFICE was the Democratic Presidential Nominee, Joe Biden. Moderator Chris Wallace, spent most of the evening aiding and abetting that enormous orange pustule, until the last few minutes of the debate, where even he had finally had enough. Thrown the easiest softball of a question, “Do you condemn white supremacy?” TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS actually instructed the ultra-right-wing hate group – whose name will not appear here (suffice it to say, just like TEENIE-WEENIE IMPOTUS, the group is composed of phallically-challenged, uneducated, angry white males who collect firearms to compensate for their humiliating genitalia) – to “Stand Back and Stand by.” Thereby instructing violent extremists to attack voters who dare to cross the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS. America now has a clear choice.

If you do not get of your lazy ass and vote, this is on you.

WASHINGTON – So,what are the ORANGES of The OAF OF OFFICE’s hateful world view? We know from its sister that it is a profoundly stupid individual. We know that it has no principles. We know it paid somebody to take the SAT for it. We know it was never actually accepted or admitted to Wharton, but rather, one of the art appreciation classes it took happened to meet in a lecture hall on the Wharton campus. As its niece’s book states, the greed, the dishonesty, the racial prejudice, misogyny and the incessant narcissistic self aggrandizement were all inherited from its father.

But the cruelty, that was original. That was the product of its anger over being short-changed in the phallic sense. It has spent an entire lifetime in a never-ending snit because no matter how much money Douchebag Daddy left it, it would never get over the embarrassment it suffered in the locker room at boarding school due to the diminutive size of its genitalia. Since it would be a stretch to blame somebody else for this particular shortcoming, there was really no way to assuage that particular ire. For direct first-hand evidence that this is what concerns the OBOE (Orange Bag Of Excrement), note that at one of the debates in 2016, it said of Marco Rubio, “I have to say this, he hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I’ve never heard of this one. Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee you.” Remember, when this drivel spewed from that Orange sewer hole, it was during a nationally televised event. It had to discuss the size of its TEENY-WEENIE on all channels. And, as every utterance it has ever made proves, when it asserts something and then adds, “believe me,” or “I guarantee you,” it is a prevarication (for the Orange and ignorant among you, that means a lie). So here we are. The White House is illegitimately occupied by a pathetic figure suffering from declining mental capacity that can only recall personal slights and seek revenge. This humiliation is part and parcel of what underlies the IMPOTUS’ perpetual state of unbridled rage.

WASHINGTON – The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg has succumbed to her battle with metastatic pancreatic cancer. She told her her granddaughter Clara Spera: “My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed.”

May she REST IN POWER.