High Function: Functioning Highly

WASHINGTON – Taken aback by criticism from even some of the most rabid denialists after committing treason yesterday, the OBOE (ORANGE BAG OF EXCREMENT) tried to “clarify” his obsequious endorsement of his handler’s assertion yesterday in Helsinki. But, he was unable to read the hostage statement without adding some touches of Orange bullshit. He claimed he “misspoke” when he lied about Russian meddling in our election. Yet, he had to write in his own fat little hand “There was no colusion.” He says he is highly educated. Yet, he can not spell the crime in which he engaged. Further, it is only a matter of time before he goes back to crying “witch hunt.” Appeasement of PUTRID will be his legacy. We must hold out hope that Mueller is free to conclude his investigation, and that the House and Senate will turn blue and then we must demand that TWITLER be impeached.

HELSINKI – So, there it is. The OAF OF OFFICE and his handler. Donald T. RUMP just sold out this country to Valdimir PUTRID because he is being blackmailed. T. RUMP said that Russian meddling in U.S. elections is fine, as long as Mr. PUTRID lets him keep his stolen residency. Oh, and also Clinton’s emails something, something, blah, blah, blah. This is simply disgusting. THE ORANGE VOLCANO OF HATESPEECH is a cowardly traitor. All Banana Republicans are now complicit in treason. There is no innocent explanation.