« Archives in February, 2018

OAF OF OFFICE Announces New SWAT Policy: He Will Stop All Active Shooters Single-Handedly And Unarmed

I will run in there and beat up all the gun mans!

WASHINGTON – The ORANGE BAG OF SHIT, attempting to rationalize the blood money he takes from the NRA, had to create a new lie to tell the roomful of Governors gathered at The White House today. In keeping with his delusional opinion of his abilities, the seventy-one year old baby stated that he would have confronted the big mean school shooter without even having a gun. He then said that from now on, whenever there is an active shooter anywhere in the country, all SWAT teams are instructed to notify the PUMPKIN BUMPKIN and wait for him to confront the shooter unarmed. Because he’s no coward, he’s a Sooper-Hero!

Wife Beaters Of A Feather Flock Together

WASHINGTON – In defending a fellow wifebeater, the ABUSER-IN-CHIEF assured the public that Staff Secretary, Rob “PUNCHER” Porter could beat up any woman half his size. He lamented that even though he had made it clear that violence against women is just good policy, there were still some who felt that perhaps public officials should not give their wives black eyes.