« Archives in February, 2017


Howler monkeys sound like this

WASHINGTON – Another day, another FAILURE. So, it turns out even some Banana Republicans in the Senate have had twinges of conscience over one nominee. The anti-worker, robot preferring, wage stealing, misogynistic, undocumented worker exploiting, tax dodging, domestic partner abusing Carl’s Jr. CEO. Andrew PUTZER, who ORANGE PUPPET named for Secretary of Labor was just a little too much to stomach. Considering the smorgasbord of disgusting traits, we can only wonder which one was “a fridge too far.”

Da Best People!

Out like FLYNN

WASHINGTON – Well, that didn’t take long. Further cementing his reputation as the least qualified person ever to serve in The Whitehouse, The PUMPKIN BUMPKIN had to FIRE his National Security Advisor, Michael FLYNN, after just twenty-four days! Hell, it happened so fast, we didn’t even have time to come up with a nickname. It turns out FLYNN was colluding with the Russians to undermine United States foreign policy under President Barack Obama; and then, he lied about it to ADOLF TWITLER. The MANGO MUSSOLINI can not pretend he didn’t know. He was directly warned by the Acting Attorney General, Sally Yates, that FLYNN had been bought off by Russia, and was being actively blackmailed about his lies. And, obviously, that was the real reason she was fired. After the colossal FAILURE of his Muslim Ban in Federal Court, the FAILURE of one of his key appointments speaks volumes about the profound incompetence of this train wreck of an administration. He promised he would surround himself with “Da Best People,” and so far, so good!