High Function: Functioning Highly

KIAWAH, SC – So, here comes another internment camp for people Four-Time-Bankrupt Swindler, Donald T. RUMP hates. After Pope Francis suggested that building walls is not The Gospel, as might be expected, T. RUMP – the bloated orange-faced loudmouth – hit the roof! He promised that he would help ISIS to invade The Vatican. He also said that Catholics were now on his list. With a wall around Mexico, and all Muslims, “The Blacks” and women already slated for their own internment camps, he indicated that one more camp would be “no big deal.” Now, it was not made clear whether being a Catholic Latina would get you deported, sent to the camp for women or sent to the camp for Catholics. Nobody at the rally here today dared to ask that question for fear of being rounded up and sent to yet another camp for people who think logic should play a part in public policy. T. RUMP bellowed that voters should stick to the hatred and leave the rounding up to the “experts!”

WASHINGTON – Even before Scalia’s body was cold, the Banana Republican Hate Machine turned his death into another political battle. Senator BITCH McCONMAN’s racial hatred of the President runs so deep that he could not even let the death of one of his heroes pass without launching another attack on our Democracy. The Constitution clearly states that:

He[The President] shall have the Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two-thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Councils, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

But, McCONMAN is un-American. He feels that thwarting the duly elected President should take precedence over The Constitution he swore to uphold. It is disgusting. And, the fact that every single other Banana Republican Senator is going along with him proves that they too are simply un-American. On the other hand, perhaps it is to be expected because rats are known to eat dead rat.

NEW YORK – As Four-Time-Bankrupt Swindler Donald T. RUMP was holed up licking his wounds, he just couldn’t let the stinging defeat go. He started a whining campaign because big bad Ted CURSE outsmarted him. And as he has repeatedly demonstrated, getting revenge is his highest priority. So, while that caucus is over, and all the other candidates are moving forward and focusing on New Hampshire, the orange-faced bloviating hate monger has actually threatened to sue every single caucus goer in Iowa who did not choose him. He simply doesn’t get it. We can only hope that he wastes a huge amount of time and effort on the past, and takes his eyes off the prize. Then again, who doesn’t believe this country’s problems can all be solved by an angry rant from an ill-informed narcissist?

DES MOINES – LOSER! L motherfuckin’ O motherfuckin’ S motherfuckin’ E motherfuckin’ R! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!

Donald T. RUMP is a LOSER! That is, A LOOOOOOOOOOSER!

Did I mention that Donald T. RUMP is a LOSER? If not, please permit me to inform you that Donald T. RUMP is a LOSER!

LOSER!