
One Star at Night, Pirates' delight; Fifty Stars at Morning, Pirates take warning
MOGADISHU – Well, Vexillology (the study of flags) may not be emphasised very strongly in whichever school provides instruction to Somali Pirates, but really, simple counting should get a little more attention. Pirates, when choosing a target for your next boarding party, if you see a red, white and blue flag with ONE STAR and eleven stripes, that means Liberia — a flag of convenience which implies you will be dealing with private entities as you negotiate for your booty. If you see a fuckin’ flag with FIFTY STARS and thirteen stripes, that does not mean the ship has been registered fifty times; it means the ship has been registered in The United States of America! These kinds of ships come with a whole lot of backup from those big gray ships with the big white numbers on the bow (they tend to sport an impressive array of gun batteries, helicopters, fighter jets, and in your particular case, professionally trained sharpshooters, with high-powered scopes, hanging over the side). Don’t mess with them.
All week long, to fill the twenty-four-hour news cycles, we were treated to endless commentary from former victims and current experts on pirate negotiations. In most cases, the pirates and the shippers wanted exactly the same things: the certain delivery of a cash ransom in exchange for the safe release of the crew, the vessel and the cargo. But, in this case, after the Maersk Alabama’s — whose crew did everything right — Captain was reported captured by four Pirates in a lifeboat, and after the U.S. Navy arrived, it did not seem likely that a ransom would be forthcoming. For future reference, Johnny Depp Wanna-be’s, if you start out taking over the wheelhouse of a freighter, and subsequently find yourselves standing up to a complement of warships from the deck of a forty-man lifeboat with one hostage and four lightly armed Pirates: you have overplayed your hand.
Godspeed, Captain Phillips.