BANANA REPUBLICAN Cop-Killing Invertebrates Vote Against Reality To Continue Fluffing TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS
Laughably Demented Impeachment Defense
Representative Jamie Raskin (D-Md.) led the House Managers in their compelling presentation of video evidence and lucid legal arguments in favor of trying the OBOE (Orange Bag of Excrement) for inciting a violent, racist, ignorant, seditious mob to storm the Capitol, murder a Police Officer, injure some ten-dozen others, and physically desecrate the building. Using moving rhetoric such as, “People died that day. Officers ended up with head damage and brain damage. People’s eyes were gouged. An officer had a heart attack. An officer lost three fingers that day. Two officers have taken their own lives,” Raskin held the chamber spellbound by his argument.
Then it was the FORMER OAF OF OFFICE’s turn. Two “attorneys” who had to have been scraped from the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, Bruce Castor and David Schoen, tried mightily to speak in coherent sentences. Castor made a rambling, self-contradictory argument that actually included an admission that tRUMP had lost the election. After embracing every one of the Q-ANUS conspiracy theories, he actually argued that the House impeachment process was too fast, which negated the opportunity for due process, and too slow so that tRUMP was out of office before the trial began. Next came Schoen who spent over an hour screaming at the top of his lungs about random things that had absolutely nothing to do with what the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS did on January 6.
Now, since the only purpose of today’s hearing was to determine whether or not the Senate would proceed with the trial, the final vote was 56 in favor and 44 in complete denial of reality.
Tomorrow, we will begin the actual presentation of evidence, interspersed with hours of sheer incompetence. It should make for some very entertaining television!
Nobody Showed Up, Except For One Guy
They must not teach logic in Window Selling School. The sign holder embarrassingly committed the all-too-common fallacy known as argumentum ad ignorantiam or appeal to ignorance. Basically, “Prove Unicorns Don’t Exist!” The combined brain power of these angry, entitled white folks with hurt feelings could not light a fifteen watt bulb.
Let’s just hope the persistent National Guard presence continues to give them pause.
New Evidence: Dominion Voting Machines Do Contact Hugo Chavez!
LAS VEGAS – Well, well, well! It turns out the TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS and Rudolph GHOUL-IANI were right! For the last few years, the annual Hacking Conference, DefCon, has included a Voting Village where all manner of voting machines are provided for attendees to inspect, disassemble, and hack to their hearts’ content. While many of the wild charges the tRUMPlodites have made have been difficult to prove, this one was easy! It turns out that after disassembling the microcode stored in ALL Dominion Election-Secure voting machines, this one function is, in fact, the smoking gun!
//pentagram seance algorithm
int pentagram_seance_vote_set(int vote) {
int keep_or_flip = 0; //0=keep, 1=flip
int candles[5];
int degrees = 36;
for (int i=0; i<5; i++) {
candles[i] = degrees;
degrees += 72;
}
burn(candles);
keep_or_flip = contact_chavez(vote);
extinguish(candles);
return keep_or_flip;
}
Dead giveaway! Notice how the pentagram of candles is offset exactly enough to be sure the star is pointing downward, unlike the “proper” stars on the good old Confederate Flag!
TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS Commits Sedition By Inciting Angry White Mob Of TERRORISTS To Storm Capitol. Derelict Police Aid And Abet. FIVE DEAD. This Is On You. There Is Blood On Your Hands. You Are Cop-Killers.
VOTE, Georgia, VOTE
ATLANTA – Vote, Georgia, Vote.
Vote, Vote, Vote.
Vote for Ossoff,
Vote for Warnock,
Vote, Georgia, VOTE!
ONLY ONE MORE MONTH
WASHINGTON – The TEENY-WEENIE IMPOTUS will leave 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. one month from today. If it refuses, it will be clapped in irons and marched out in a perp-walk broadcast on all channels (here’s hopin’!). Good riddance to bad rubbish!