Fuck You

Obama awarded Peace Prize….Get over it!  And by the way, last time I read a newspaper, Norwegians choose the Nobel, not Swedes…but i digress (and don’t get my info from Fox)  On the other hand, I don’t recall such vitriol when President MORON five years ago awarded the United States* Medal of Freedom (for those of you playing at home, the highest civilian honor bestowed in the name of the American people) to Cheney/Rumsfeld lackeys Tommy Franks, George Tenet and Paul Bremer for their roles in aiding and abetting the insanity of the “warforoil” in Iraq, which coincidentally, and, literally, was dumped on Obama. Arguably the award is a bit premature, but it’s a safe bet that it would have never been awarded to cartoon Disney characters like the Lady & the Tramp -McClain & the Palin.

*”America is the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth… and Sweden sucks.”  (Sean Hannity, Fox News Channel)

President MORON awards Medals of Failure

There's no prize for Mathematics either

OSLO - In light of Barack Obama’s receipt of the Nobel Peace Prize here today, one might wonder why no such honor was bestowed on the previous administration, The MORONARCHY.  If Nobel had decided that one of the categories in which he would award prizes would be unprovoked invasion of Foreign Sovereign Nations, President MORON, The DICK and RUMMY would have been naturals!  Alas, petty tyranny — President MORON’s only stock in trade — may in fact attract the attention of the civilized world, but it is hardly ever regarded as something to be admired.  For the record, President Obama’s name was submitted exactly twelve days after he took office.  The world was obviously waiting with bated breath.

You're Next!

WASHINGTON - The Tea-Baggers have won. The so-called Healthcare Reform Act has been so watered down that only the core principles are left. The only certainties are that there will be Socialists running the program; that their only activity will be manning Death Panels; their only constituents will be Illegal Aliens; and the only service they will be providing is Abortions. But Banana Republicans are thrilled: this time, at least, they were not the party of “No.”

Yes, now you can answer twenty questions about how you want your coffee poured, form a line in your own kitchen, and wait until your name is called!

SEATTLE - As it turns out, marketing overpriced homemade coffee is not without its political risks.  When noted Seven Dollar a Cup Coffee vendor, Starbucks, launched its new ad campaign to convince people that they could also spend lavishly on instant coffee, they ran a commercial.  The premise was that certain groups of individuals would not be able to tell the difference.  The last group identified in the original commercial was “people who yell at town hall meetings!”  Well, the bible-thumping undereducated Banana Republican Tea-Baggers — who simply have no sense of humor — saw this as a slight against their year long campaign to convince people that seeing a doctor was socialism and that the secretly-muslim-but-also-extremist-christian-and-yet-somehow-really-a-hippie president was in fact a Nazi!  Since they had spent the entire Summer yelling at their Congresspeople that the guv’mint ought’a jes’ keep its hands offa’ Medicare, they were not amused.  So, Starbucks had to reshoot the commercial referring instead to the “indisputably tall.”  Ignorance knows no bounds.